Saturday, September 27, 2008

Out of the Mouth of BrainyQuote.com ...

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.
-- Raymond Lindquist
Thank you, Mr. Lindquist. That does not make this entry any easier. John Wayne said it better.
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
--John Wayne
It's scary for me to let go and start again. Even hard things, like this summer, I still cling to in a sense. It's familar to me. Even thought it hurts, I can't bring myself to stop thinking about being disappointed, responsible, and hurt.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.
-- Author Unknown
Ain't that the truth? Until I let go, I will be cynical, insensitive, and insecure. Right?
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia
Because... I'm a masochist. Haha. Jk. I hold on to it because I can still change it. Is it so wring to give up myself completely to save something that my family is losing its grip on? And, no. It's not a person. It's something else.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.
-- Author Unknown
I still can't come to grips with it. I know that I'm not close to being the person I should be, especially when I keep recent events in mind. Tonight, I linked my immaturity as a Christian with my inability to release the things that are enslaving me to the pursuit of my own ambitions rather than the image of God. Allowing emotions to control every aspect of my life is hurting others.
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison

::shrugs:: if you say so...

::turns up volume on iTunes::

I've grown to see the philosophy of my own mistrust, / We all have our faults, mine come in waves that you turn to rust, / Some of us laugh, some of us cry, / Some of us smoke, some of us lie, / But it's all just the way that we cope with our lives. / I've been hanging onto something, / You keep laughing awe-inspiring.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Lessons from a Stairwell...

It's stupid to tell everyone the things that are hurting you deep inside...
... proverbs 29:11
The temptations to quit, take the easy way out of, or complain about isn't anything new...
...I corinthians 10:13
Even if it seems as though what I'm doing wont ever stop, there is an ending...
...I corinthians 9:25-26
It's more important to hear about yourself thru others, rather than self...
...proverbs 27:2
Too much studying corrupts the soul..
...ecclesiastes 12:12
God judges. not me...
...romans 14:13

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

it was a hard night for and he knew it. he prolly figured it out because i wasn't really talking and when i did, i steered it away from anything personal.
i'm glad he didn't pry alot past asking if everything was ok. i kinda thought that that was a stupid question because I always say yes regardless.
he told me that God gives grace for His children...

i responded by respectfully letting him know that God also allows us to go through shit.



the harder the times are, i think,
"Ok, what am i supposed to be learning?"

other times, i think God is trying to teach me
''if you got urself into this mess, ur sure as heck gonna find a way out."


=/

Monday, September 8, 2008

Things that make me smile irrevocably ...

... because getting mad has it moments.

Dr. Hake's laugh. Getting mail from Colorado. FB notifications. A guy putting his arm around a girl. Certain songs (this is how a heart breaks, stay beautiful, all i need...) Making someone smile by saying something. Making someone smile by not saying anything. someone suggesting we go for coffee. gTalking a friend during class, while trying to keep a straight face and seeing the im recipient trying to do the same. Status messages with ulterior meanings. Red dresses. Little kids and ice cream. My deck of cards ;) Circus peanuts. Older brothers acting like it. Stars 'n' Bars. Heck, yes. Someone asking, "Coke or Pep-?... nevermind. Be right back." Country music. Shoes that clack. Wall-to-Walls. Secret names for the sake of gossip. Innocent looks.



The most important one:
The way God knows when to make me smile. *grin*
But most especially:
The way God let them all happen within a week. Or just about all of them. 85% is a good guesstimate.